Archive for WEIRD humour

Girls,girls……………..more girls!!!

{ October 24, 2008 @ 5:15 pm } · { Girls, WEIRD humour }
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Imagine a scenario in which girls have outnumbered boys at IIT.

1.So what came to your mind?
2.What was the girl-boy ratio in your imagination?
3. Were you at an IIT?
4.If you were at an IIT, were you having a boyfriend err girlfriend?

I imagined a whole story for it.
2035, IIT Kharagpur
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Don’t  question ,” why kharagpur? “
Look kharagpur will still remain the IIT with maximum intake so better be there as more people makes more girls and more girls means more fun.
Story begins……….
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It’s a place dominated by girls. Boys are in the minority.
A girl is the gymkhana president (the student representative of IIT kharagpur in other words).
Kshitij (the annual techno-management fest of IIT Kharagpur) and Spring Fest (the cultural fest of IIT Kharagpur) team mainly consist of girls with a little participation of boys. Every boy has a girlfriend. Girls have a competition amongst themselves to have a boyfriend. Boys are a rare species at IIT.
First year, 2035, august
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The very fact that the ratio of girls in IIT has changed made the plot unacceptable but I want to share this with you as it is worth.
IIT is a place dominated by male members of the society. To be more appropriate we IITians are male chauvinistic. This opinion doesn’t makes us less vulnerable to the emotions a boy experiences just after the onset of puberty. He needs a girlfriend . It’s not so easy!!!
This is the perhaps the first time an average IITian thinks that he is a loser( same here!!).So, not boring you all further let me start with the story
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A rainy evening; I was walking alone back to my hostel. Suddenly a group of girls come and starts commenting on me. I was scared. I remembered what my mom says,” that beware of girls when it is dark”.
Girls started using words which cannot be mentioned here (even boys of the age of 2008 couldn’t think of using). I felt ashamed. One girl came towards me and started leering at me. I just couldn’t resist this behaviour. My inner voice said,” Be a man”. I gathered some strength came forward and gave the girl a tight slap. The whole group pounced on me and they hit me on every part of my
body( except that part!!).
I was clamouring for attention. I was helpless.
But I saw a ray of hope when a girl noticed us and started running for me!!!
I felt a sigh of relief. The gang of girls had to leave as they saw her.
The girl came and helped me to calm down.
We had a small conversation @ a canteen. Yeah!! This thing was the same. As people can change everything but still food is the primary factor of existence.
Here goes the conversation:
Vidushi (girl’s name): Which branch?

Me: Mining…..not so great??

Vidushi: No yaar…it’s a good branch. Let me tell you one fact,”23 minerals which are used in computers are mined by mining engineers”.

Me: Good knowledge!!!(I never knew)

Me: What is your branch?

Vidushi: Computer science.

Me: Good (shocked)

Vidushi: So how do you feel at IIT?

Me: Everything’s fine!!

Vidushi: No problem with girls?

Me: Yeah certainly…you just rescued me!!!…thnx

Vidushi: Anytime!!…..those girls need to be punished.

Me: Can I ask you a silly but personal question?

Vidushi: yeah sure…shoot

Me: Do you have a boyfff…

ASHISH ASHISH ASHISH ASHISH ASHISH ASHISH ASHISH ASHISH ASHISH
This voice was of my room-mate who was performing his ceremonial duty of waking me up.
I woke up. What a story!! Certainly it couldn’t be a dream!!!
What all you people think?
Everybody at IIT thinks that the girl-boy ratio is  abysmal. Imagine the dream which I encountered!!
I know at least some of you might be not thinking in the same line after this post. 

PS: Visit my personal blog from here
PS: I’m the new co-author of this blog. Ashish Gourav
PS: I know this is a weird post but still most dreams are weird.
PS: I’m grateful to Himanshu and Parth…..thnx
PS: Keep reading this blog as I know this post could create some negative impact but Himanshu and Parth are good writers to handle this
PS: Bye

R2 ~ Dil Mill Gaye..!

{ September 4, 2008 @ 6:01 am } · { Life, Special Features, WEIRD humour }
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The Reading room

The Reading room

# For those who don’t know, R2 or ‘Reading Room’ is a large hall in the Central Library of IIT Delhi which is 24 hours open for students.

The Reading Room concept was introduced by IIT authorities to encourage students to study more. I don’t know how far they’ve succeeded in this job, but the one thing I do know is that the students have put this R2 into a better use. Some people read books here, and some read faces…….faces of girls.

There are several reasons why I go R2.

1. Its air-conditioned.

2. Its having a Nescafe counter.

3. Girls.

Some of the most prominent observations I had in R2 are as follows:

# The amount of study done is inversely proportional to the number of girls present out here.

# The amount of frustration (or frustaapa, as by IIT lingo), is directly proportional to number of couples present.

Earlier, I hated to go R2. I mean whats the point of walking a kilometre from your hostel to study something you can do it in your room only. But gradually I realised why the place is so popular. Basically it acts as a bridge between farthely-separated girls and boys hostel. Although boys have to walk a bit more to reach here than girls, but then again its justified. Afterall, they are the girls ;)

Its also a meeting point of couples. They come with their books/laptops etc., sit for a while and try to study (which is impossible for both of them in presence of each other). And then when they fail badly, they sleep on each-others shoulders leaving the rest of the crowd to see them and envy.

There is also scope for those who are not having a ‘bandi’. Its really a great feeling to see a girl studying. I must say girls look really cute when they study. (I wish I could say the same for boys also. ) So, the funda is, you study and when you need a break, take your head out of your book and look around. After 5 minutes, you’ll be fully-refreshed and ready to start studying again.

R2 is also Wi-Fi enabled. So some people come here with their laptops. Since in R2 you cannot watch anything objectionable, therefore one can work here without any distractions (which normally occur when one is surfing internet in his room).

So friends, this is R2. Here the love inculcates, nourishes and reaches upto the extent of sleeping (of course on each other’s shoulders). I really doubt if R2 has produced some 9 pointers. But one thing thats sure is that it has been the favourite hangout for ‘5 point someone’ like me.

I had a lot of R2 for the last few days because of my minor exams. May be this was the reason I screwed all my papers. Still I am hopeful that one day I’ll visit R2 and will use the excellent facility provided by Indian Government for only studying. Although I doubt the day will come. ;)

*

PS — Minors ended. Trying to forget the nightmare.

PS — Hmm… ‘Rock On’ rocks man..(only if you watch it in a theatre having good sound)

PS — I’d sent a friend request to a girl of my branch on orkut, but she refused.

PS — So I sent it again and guess what, she again refused. :(

PS — One day I asked her the reason and she said, “Its because of your blog”.

PS — WTF!!

PS — Coming Bhopal. Yipee…!!

PS — Addicted to Kishore Kumar. He rocks.!

PS — Tchao :)

‘D’ for ‘Despo’

{ August 5, 2008 @ 1:18 pm } · { Girls, WEIRD humour }
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# Realised the seriousness of this word when I accidently called one of my senior, a ‘Despo’. Don’t want to write what happened next. (Better lets not get into those details! )

Hmm….so lets start. When a guy enters IIT Delhi, generally he has two options. Firstly, to continue with the same spirit of studying like a ‘Maggu’ like he did for the last 2-3 years or second, to live up. And as you’ve guessed, I chose the latter one. And when I saw ‘people’ here, it seemed the decision was correct. Delhi is a heaven for anyone who is sincerely not sincere in studies. Against my expectations, my college also constitutes some part of this heaven. Majority of girls of my batch and even my senior ma’ams are too alluring. (Oops….I just forgot my seniors read my blog too…! Sorry Sir! ;)

Initially, the ‘boy’ inside me urged a lot to talk and improve relations with the pretty girls present out here. But the ‘fattu’ inside me didn’t help. And thats the thing that gradually converted me from a ‘Frustoo’ to a ‘Despo’.

So lets us first define a ‘Despo’. A Despo is a person who feels pity for himself because he believes he has high affinity for opposite sex, but is still deprived of it. Basically, a despo is a person who is not aware that he’s good for nothing when it comes to a girl. Despos are quite different people and I’ve tried to reflect it in following points:

# Despos have an extraordinary ability to be get depressed by looking at a beautiful girl.

# Sometimes they feel that finding a girlfriend is far difficult than finding an extra-terrestrial life.

# They are one of those rare species in world who can laugh at themselves for their poor fate.

# A Despo talks to a pretty girl only in his mind.

# A Despo takes a pledge everyday that today he’ll do something……and ends up being more desperate after failing to do so.

# There are some Despos who feel proud at themselves.

# There are some who don’t.

# But it doesn’t matters. A ‘Despo’ will always be a ‘Despo’.

So by now, you must’ve got a hint that I too resemble the above category quite well. Everyday here in Insti or outside, I watch couples ~ pretty girls & ‘chu___’ boys, together and curse my bad luck. I think getting depressed has become my hobby now. But a good news is that I am not alone in this ‘Despo League’. Especially in IIT, one can find a complete army of Despos. I hate being one, so one day, I, along with my other two despo friends ~ Manu & Bambo, decided to change our fortune.

ADC ~ Anti Despo Committee

We formed a union named ADC for the sole mission of killing the ‘fattu’ residing inside us and recovering ourselves from this tragic despo situation. It was decided that everyday, each of us would talk to any girl for any reason at least once. And if in case, someone couldn’t, he’ll have to call it a ‘Chu_____Day’.

So since then, each day we approach some girl(s), sometimes walking at roads, sitting in groups, in classrooms, Nescki, WindT, market etc. and talk to them. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. For instance, when we asked a girl the address of Munirka Market when we were already standing there, she just mumbled some blah! Blah! words to us and left.

I am trying our best to recuperate from this  awful stance. Lets wish me some luck. ;)

***

PS — Really wanted to write more, but have time constraint. :(

PS — I hate food here.

PS — Plans to visit NIFT Delhi soon. Just checked its way on Google Earth.

PS — I wish no girl from my batch reads this post.

PS — Celebrated a senior’s birthday yesterday. Ara Rocks!

PS — Still love Avril. ;)

PS — In case you didn’t notice, I hate food here.

PS — ADC Rocks!

PS — Adios. :)

The Chowkidaar

{ July 10, 2008 @ 7:20 am } · { Incidents, WEIRD humour, education }
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I usually go for walk during night because I like the privacy in darkness. But that day, I decided to go for a morning walk.

It had rained in night so the road was wet. I have a fixed path for walk ~ Katara Hills Road, then out of the colony to finally a newly built Government Hostel. After that, there’s a dead end. I would sit there, listen songs and drool into my nonsense thoughts.

As usual in 15 minutes, I reached the Government Hostel and sat on stairs. The hostel is newly built and no one lives there. In night, it seems to be haunted place and therefore, there is much more fun going there in night.

I was listening to music. As the song reached to my most favourite lines, I heard a Chowkidaar shouting at me.

“Hey…mmmm…Boy..!”

I stopped the song. He was in his late-thirties or early-fourties. He was fit because he came running towards me. I had seen him for the first time, may be because it was the first time I went there in morning.

“What are you doing here?”, he shouted again.

“Nothing….just relaxing.”

“Is this a park?”

“Umm…well no..the place is nice. So I just thought…”

“Chal chal…….now leave.”, he said.

He was sounding so arrogant that my mind also started functioning like that. Who was he to spoil my morning? The place is isolated. Why not use the government property! And what harm I can do here!

“Hey….this is a public property. Everyone can use it.”, I said. After all I was more educated than him. I can make him dumb.

“Who says?? This is a restricted zone.”, he said and pointed out his finger to a pole.

“The main gate is supposed to be built there. It is forbidden to come beyond that.”, he said proudly.

“Where’s the gate? I can’t see it.”

“It will be built in a month.”

“Ohkk…then I won’t come after a month.”, I said and laughed.

I was enjoying the argument. It was a morning time-pass. I was feeling the power of education. Education brings confidence. And after all, I am an IITian also. This very thought made me indulge into unneccessary controversies.

“India is a free country. Everyone can go anywhere. If you say its a restricted zone, you must put a notice board here.”, I said.

“Hey…..don’t you teach me. You leave from here or not?”, he was agitated. I was enjoying.

“Ohkk……first proof that this is a restricted zone and I’ll leave.”, I said.

He left speechless. This increased my over-confidence.

“Show me some legal document or guidelines which says I am not allowed to sit here.”, I smirked.

It was fun to tease an arrogant Chowkidaar. I started playing my song again. And he left.

“Wait a minute, I just come.”, he yelled.

“I am waiting.”, I exclaimed.

May be he was going inside to call his senior officials. Or to bring some document etc. to show me the proof. But who cares…!

I was again lost in the song and my nasty thoughts when I heard him shouting at me again.

“Now what yaar!!!”, I roared and looked towards me.

He had holded a long and thick wooden stick and was approaching towards me with a fast pace. He reached me in few seconds.

“So, what kind of proof you were asking?”, he uttered in rage.

Instantaneosly, all the power of education and the IITian’s reputation surrendered in front of the wooden stick. I was out of words to say something. I apologized politely and promised him that I won’t visit here again. I left.

Yaar……tell me one thing, who says?? “Kalam talvaar se jyada balwaan hoti hai!”

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PS — Really sorry for the soo soo late update.

PS — There are two reasons for this:

PS — I have become too lazy.

PS — My internet connection has cut down a few days ago.

PS — MTV Spiltsvilla ~ I like Yamini. ;)

PS — Planning to watch next movie in Priya PVR only.

PS — 11 days left.

PS — IIT Delhi……….I am coming. ;)

PS — Adios.

Proposal??

{ June 6, 2008 @ 7:46 pm } · { Fiction, Life, WEIRD humour }
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This was the first class for the year and as expected there were few ‘new admissions’. In fact there were only two new comers-both boys. Priyanka noticed it and also noticed one of them was coming towards her. The boy took the seat behind her.

“umm…excuse me!” came the voice from behind.

“yeah?” Priyanka asked.

“i am new here and don’t know what is our time table. Will you please tell me?”

She took out her diary and gave it to him.”last page” she told him the exact location.

“Priyanka Dixit.”, he murmured. Till now Priyanka had turned her head towards the board, but still she heard her name being murmured. But, she didn’t respond.

“Thanks Priyanka”, and he returned her diary.”I am Rakesh. Wanna be friends?”

“yeah .sure! Priyanka.”

“yeah I know. Read your name on the diary.” And they shook hands.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Days passed by and they became good friends. They both came to know that they lived nearby and they had many interests same. Priyanka started having a feeling for Rakesh and Rakesh also liked her. They both enjoyed each others company in the class and outside the school. Rakesh was intelligent and thus he helped Priyanka in studies.

It was a nice evening. Cool wind blowing and the sun about to set. Priyanka was looking out of the window and she saw Rakesh on his bike standing outside her house.

Rakesh screamed” Come. lets go for a ride!!”

“OK. Just wait. I will come.”

“ok!!”

Priyanka knew that she can go out because she had only her younger brother in her house. She told her that she has some extra classes.

She didn’t wanted to miss this chance. She thought”may be he will propose me” and went downstairs smiling.

She sat on his bike and they vrooomed to the dam nearby.

“OH! How romantic?”, thought Priyanka. She thought her wish is coming true. They were both sitting on a rock when Rakesh said”I will come in a minute. You wait right here. I will be back.”

He smiled and went somewhere. Priyanka was all alone.

She started thinking about the day she met Rakesh and went into the flash-back of her life spent with him. She thanked god for bringing Rakesh into her life.

She saw Rakesh coming towards her with some flowers. Her heart started beating. She knew this was it.

Rakesh came to her and said, “Poor child. She was selling these flowers and I bought just to get her something to eat.”

” I know you wont tell me that you bought them for me.”, Priyanka thought in her mind.

One minute silence. No one talked and then Rakesh took a deep breath.

“Priyanka. I wanted to ask you something.”

“yeah. go on”, she said smiling.

“ummm……see whatever you think of this just please don’t be angry.”

“OK. Tell me first. I wont be angry.”

This was enough for Rakesh and he proposed.

“Will you be my……..”

“Say it Rakesh!!” she was desperate to here it.

“ohk ohk ..ya.ummm….ok.” he closed his eyes.”will you be my uhh umm SISTER?”

PS:NOT inspired from a real life story.

PS:IDEA came into my mind thru a conversation.

PS:DON’T try this at home :P